How to “select” an astrologically compatible mate

There are so many postings out there about relationships, and how to find the best possible mate by way of one’s birthchart. “What sort of person would I best with?” is a question commonly asked. There are a few different things that I always look at first and foremost when being asked these sorts of questions by clients (and answering questions as I creep on forums, hahah)….and this sort of question gets asked A LOT. Everyone wants to find their person (well, most people do anyway), so these are useful things to pay particular attention to for anyone who wants to learn more about astrological pairing from the natal chart. I have a visual below, with the different things that I’m talking about in this post circled so you can follow along with a visual. I know us into astrology (for fun, vocation, or both!) are VERY visual people.
**Just to make it clear, I’m only talking about good pairings based on the natal chart. Obviously, actually seeing how these aspects would play out would depend on the actual synastry and composite charts between two people. I’m also NOT strictly talking about SUN signs, but talking about that Sign’s ENERGY in general.
**Obviously, you would have to take the whole chart into account. Just because someones Descendant is in a certain sign does necessarily mean that the particular sign’s energy in question would be a good pairing for the person. This post should really be used as more of a jumping off point for analysis, discarding what doesn’t actually fit the particular chart that you’re looking at, and keeping what does.

The Descendant is circled in Purplish Pink. The ruler of the 7th House is circled in Dark Purple. The 11th House Cusp is circled in Red. Juno is circled in Light Blue. The North/South Node Axis is circled in Green. The Sun/Moon Midpoint is the Orange Dot in the 1st House. The Vertex is circled in Yellow.
  • Start out by looking at what Sign rules over the Descendant. Since the Descendant is what we are attracted towards & what we tend to attract in our lives, it is usually a good place to start. In my particular case, the Descendant is ruled by Gemini. This means that Gemini energy in some capacity (typically one of the inner planets) would probably be a good place to start as far energy that would be good here.
  • Look next to where the planetary ruler of the Descendant is placed in the chart. In the example, the ruler of Gemini is Mercury, and Mercury is found in the 11th house. The 11th house is traditionally ruled by Aquarius, which would make Aquarius energy a good match. And this is kind of driven home with the fact that the 3rd house (which is traditionally Mercury/Gemini/Virgo ruled) has Aquarius on the cusp.
  • Since Mercury falls in the 11th house, you would also want to bring into play which sign actually rules over the 11th house cusp in the chart, and in this case Libra rules over the 11th. This would also make Libra energy be good for the person.
  • Look at where Juno falls in the chart. Juno tends to show the sort of marriage/relationship partner that we actually need (and/or that we end up with in some capacity). In this chart, Juno falls in Aquarius (kind of triple amplifying Aquarius energy here).
  • Look at where the North Node of the Moon falls. Since the North Node is like our “souls mission” this time around, it would stand to reason that it would probably be good if you happened to find someone who’s personal/inner planets ended up in conjunction (within 5 degrees on either side of the North Node) with your North Node. In the particular case above, you’d be looking for very late degree Pisces energy or very early degree Aries energy.
  • See where the Sun/Moon Midpoint is in your Natal Chart. In the chart above, it’s at 28 Sagittarius. Since the Sun/Moon Midpoint is like the inner marriage between the masculine and the feminine in the natal chart, it would make sense that someone having the sign of the Sun/Moon Midpoint prominent in their chart would probably be a good thing. The conjunctions to the Sun/Moon Midpoint are particularly nice to see, generally anyway. Same thing can be applied to the Vertex in the natal chart.

Now that you have the basics to start out, you’ll need to actually apply what you have taken note of to see if the basics make sense through actual application. For instance, in the chart above, the South Node falls in Libra. Since the South Node tends to be what we are already familiar with from a previous incarnation (and are ultimately supposed to move beyond while growing into the soul mission of the North Node), someone with personal/inner planets that conjunct the South Node may end up keeping the person stuck in previous life themes that they ultimately need to move beyond. That doesn’t mean that Libra energy wouldn’t be a good choice for the person, but maybe not Libra energy that is conjunct the South Node (meaning, personal planets beyond 5 degrees Libra).

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