How to “select” an astrologically compatible mate

There are so many postings out there about relationships, and how to find the best possible mate by way of one’s birthchart. “What sort of person would I best with?” is a question commonly asked. There are a few different things that I always look at first and foremost when being asked these sorts of questions by clients (and answering questions as I creep on forums, hahah)….and this sort of question gets asked A LOT. Everyone wants to find their person (well, most people do anyway), so these are useful things to pay particular attention to for anyone who wants to learn more about astrological pairing from the natal chart. I have a visual below, with the different things that I’m talking about in this post circled so you can follow along with a visual. I know us into astrology (for fun, vocation, or both!) are VERY visual people.
**Just to make it clear, I’m only talking about good pairings based on the natal chart. Obviously, actually seeing how these aspects would play out would depend on the actual synastry and composite charts between two people. I’m also NOT strictly talking about SUN signs, but talking about that Sign’s ENERGY in general.
**Obviously, you would have to take the whole chart into account. Just because someones Descendant is in a certain sign does necessarily mean that the particular sign’s energy in question would be a good pairing for the person. This post should really be used as more of a jumping off point for analysis, discarding what doesn’t actually fit the particular chart that you’re looking at, and keeping what does.

The Descendant is circled in Purplish Pink. The ruler of the 7th House is circled in Dark Purple. The 11th House Cusp is circled in Red. Juno is circled in Light Blue. The North/South Node Axis is circled in Green. The Sun/Moon Midpoint is the Orange Dot in the 1st House. The Vertex is circled in Yellow.
  • Start out by looking at what Sign rules over the Descendant. Since the Descendant is what we are attracted towards & what we tend to attract in our lives, it is usually a good place to start. In my particular case, the Descendant is ruled by Gemini. This means that Gemini energy in some capacity (typically one of the inner planets) would probably be a good place to start as far energy that would be good here.
  • Look next to where the planetary ruler of the Descendant is placed in the chart. In the example, the ruler of Gemini is Mercury, and Mercury is found in the 11th house. The 11th house is traditionally ruled by Aquarius, which would make Aquarius energy a good match. And this is kind of driven home with the fact that the 3rd house (which is traditionally Mercury/Gemini/Virgo ruled) has Aquarius on the cusp.
  • Since Mercury falls in the 11th house, you would also want to bring into play which sign actually rules over the 11th house cusp in the chart, and in this case Libra rules over the 11th. This would also make Libra energy be good for the person.
  • Look at where Juno falls in the chart. Juno tends to show the sort of marriage/relationship partner that we actually need (and/or that we end up with in some capacity). In this chart, Juno falls in Aquarius (kind of triple amplifying Aquarius energy here).
  • Look at where the North Node of the Moon falls. Since the North Node is like our “souls mission” this time around, it would stand to reason that it would probably be good if you happened to find someone who’s personal/inner planets ended up in conjunction (within 5 degrees on either side of the North Node) with your North Node. In the particular case above, you’d be looking for very late degree Pisces energy or very early degree Aries energy.
  • See where the Sun/Moon Midpoint is in your Natal Chart. In the chart above, it’s at 28 Sagittarius. Since the Sun/Moon Midpoint is like the inner marriage between the masculine and the feminine in the natal chart, it would make sense that someone having the sign of the Sun/Moon Midpoint prominent in their chart would probably be a good thing. The conjunctions to the Sun/Moon Midpoint are particularly nice to see, generally anyway. Same thing can be applied to the Vertex in the natal chart.

Now that you have the basics to start out, you’ll need to actually apply what you have taken note of to see if the basics make sense through actual application. For instance, in the chart above, the South Node falls in Libra. Since the South Node tends to be what we are already familiar with from a previous incarnation (and are ultimately supposed to move beyond while growing into the soul mission of the North Node), someone with personal/inner planets that conjunct the South Node may end up keeping the person stuck in previous life themes that they ultimately need to move beyond. That doesn’t mean that Libra energy wouldn’t be a good choice for the person, but maybe not Libra energy that is conjunct the South Node (meaning, personal planets beyond 5 degrees Libra).

The Moon Out of Bounds or: “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

In the previous post about Out of Bounds planets, it was mentioned which planets go out of bounds, and which ones do not (so I won’t recap all of that here again). We’ll jump right in with the planet that gets out from under the Sun’s grasp the most often, which is of course the Moon. The time that this happens with the most frequency is every 18.6 years or so (when the North Node is at 0 degrees Aries), and the Moon gives a giant middle finger to the Sun’s gravitational pull, and does what it wants, how it wants, when it wants. Now, what does it look like when the Moon goes Out of Bounds you ask? And how does this manifest in a person’s life? Let’s take a look at what can happen.
**Keep in mind that the closer to the maximum declination of 28.5 degrees that the Moon finds itself, the more extreme the OOB Moon will be felt by the person and will come out to play in real life.**

When the Moon goes out of bounds, the person will absolutely feel it even if the OOB Moon isn’t as easily “seen” outwardly (though it usually is to some degree). Being out of bounds frees the Moon from any restriction and being “fenced in” that it might feel or face (from the sign that it falls under, the house that it resides in, and the aspects it makes), as well as from any outward restriction that society tries to impose. It also can cause the person to feel that they don’t quite belong here or anywhere, that they don’t quite fit in to societal norms, and some may actually feel that they are not actually of this planet/this dimension. Point blank, most all people that I’ve known with the Moon OOB have a distinct feeling, and usually quite early on, of being different from other people. This can be a more “positive” type of difference (such as being some sort of visionary genuis and using this ability towards bettering the world somehow), or a more “negative” type of difference (such as someone who doesn’t give a fuck about any laws that are set up in society, and breaks them every chance they get). A lot of the time, the OOB Moon person will be a little of both options above. Either way, or any way, this distinct feeling of being “different” can cause the person to feel some very intense loneliness at times, while other times they may fully delight in this feeling of being different from the masses.
*I put positive and negative in quotes above because depending on the way you personally feel about those examples in question will depend on if you think they’re positive or negative.

Another common theme with the Out of Bounds Moon tends to be a sensitivity that runs deep to their very core (and very big emotions and feelings), though the outside world may not ever know or realize this about these people. They are deeply emotional (even in the less traditionally emotional Moon Signs of Virgo, Aquarius, and Capricorn), and they know this about themselves and all the vulnerability that can come with it. While vulnerable, some people with the OOB Moon will embrace this vulnerability easily, while others will try to stuff it away in a place that no one else can reach it. It does tend to be sensed in some way by other people and by the world, even if the person has tried their best to hide it away. This can cause the OOB Moon native to be left wide open for people to mercilessly walk all over and all across any personal boundaries they try to set up. This isn’t always meant in an intrusive way by the person walking all over the boundaries of those with the OOB Moon; the person in question may really just sense the OOB person’s vulnerability and want to be of help. Though, there are those people who don’t necessarily have the best interest of the OOB Moon person at heart while walking all over their boundaries. They may be trying to find some weakness to exploit, or have some other nefarious reason for their actions. Luckily, being massively intuitive is also a card that the OOB Moon person has in their back pocket and they are usually able to tell (or feel) the difference between such people. Not only intuitive, these people seem to have some kind of link to the subconscious/unconscious mind (whether they realize this or not), as well as being highly empathetic beings.

Since boundaries were mentioned in the paragraph above, these people tend to be able to shatter boundaries themselves. Though this isn’t usually in an intrusive way of getting into the personal business of other people/walking all over personal boundaries, but more of a way that they don’t see universal boundaries (and norms) in the same way as other people. This can be seen in the OOB moon person shattering the boundaries of traditional society and thought; they can been found talking about things that don’t typically get discussed openly in public, to thinking about the “impossible” and making it possible, to being their different or “weird” selves in ‘out in the wild’, to completely shattering societal conventions in favor of living lawlessly (and this can be found in the friendly type lawless person all the way over to the sociopathic criminal). Regardless of the personality here, there is probably a different sort of code that these people live by…..which is how we end up with the visionary genius, the weirdo, the sensitive empath, and the sociopathic criminal all as possible outcomes here (among other possibilities). All of these people tend to view the world differently than other people, and thus their morals and ethics will be colored by how they view the world (and vice versa). To see what sort of code the OOB Moon person lives by, you would want to look at the sign the OOB Moon falls in, the house in which is resides, and any aspects made to the Moon.

I could see the Out of Bounds Moon as possibly manifesting as a sort of extreme depending on the sign the Moon falls in. For example, since there is something very Uranian/Aquarian about the OOB Moon anyway, I’d imagine that the person with an OOB Moon in Aquarius would probably become even more visionary in their thoughts and probably quite intuitive and spiritual (since Aquarius is a universal sign), and using this for the good. Someone who’s easily able to connect with the collective on a subconscious/unconscious level and in a very humanitarian way. I could also see the pendulum swinging in the opposite direction; someone who almost goes “mad” from all of their visionary thought, or someone who says “fuck this” to society and when doing this leaves the concept of “humanity” behind…either by way of walking away from society entirely and living out in the woods in a Unibomber-esque fashion, or just really not giving a fuck about society in general and the impact that they have on it.

As someone with their Moon in Capricorn Out of Bounds Moon, I’d love to hear any personal experience of having one from anyone reading this. Let’s discuss! 🙂

For furthering your reading pleasure, the first post in this series on Out of Bounds Planets can be found here:
Introduction to Out of Bounds Planets

Introduction to Out of Bounds Planets

I have a personal fascination with Out of Bounds Planets (aka “OOB”). This fascination began for me when I realized that I had 3 planets considered OOB in my planetary makeup. This got me curious about what exactly this meant for me, and what this meant for other people with OOB planets, and how a planet being OOB would manifest in one’s life. Let’s start with some general housekeeping and understanding of what an OOB planet actually is. A planet is considered OOB when it’s declination is anywhere beyond 23 degrees 27 minutes north or south of the equator. When the planet goes out of bounds, it means it that is is no longer under the dominion of the Sun…..and out of sight and out of pull, the planet can behave how it wants. Certain planets tend to go OOB more often than others, while some planets never go OOB at all.

***To see if you have any planets OOB, go to Astro.com and create your natal chart (create an account first if you don’t already have one). Once you have created your chart and have it pulled up, click on “additional tables” that you will find above the natal chart that you created. Once clicked on, the first page of the PDF should look like the image below. You will want to turn your attention to the “Declination” column, and see if any of the declinations in your chart exceed 23 degrees 27 minutes. If one does, the you have an OOB planet (or you could have a few, as in the case of yours truly). ***

An example from my chart of the declinations of my out of bounds planets. My Moon, Venus, and Uranus are all OOB, along with my True North Node at 0 Aries 17.

The Moon goes OOB the most often, with some years producing more OOB people than others. This has to do with the Nodes of the Moon; every 18.6 years or so the North Node finds itself at 0 degrees Aries. The years this occurs, the Moon can find itself at a declination up to 28.5 degrees. The closer to 0 degrees Aries your North Node is, the further OOB your Moon will be. In the last 70 years or so, the years that have produced the most OOB Moon people are 1950, 1969, late 1987-early 1988, and 2006. Mercury, Venus, and Mars go OOB somewhat often, but they usually don’t exceed a declination of 27 degrees (though every once in a while Venus and Mars can reach 28 degrees). Uranus and Pluto don’t go beyond 24 degrees (if they even ever really reach a declination 24 degrees), and since these are much slower moving planets, these planets going OOB tend to be a generational thing, and felt on a generational level. Jupiter hardly ever goes OOB, and when it does it never goes far beyond that 23 degrees 27 minute mark. Saturn and Neptune never go OOB, as well as the Sun (duh).

Since OOB planets have moved beyond the Sun’s line of sight, they are able to operate in a “different” way than they typically would. This “different” sort of way could be a way completely abnormal to the planet and the energy involved, or it cause the planet’s energy to become exalted and extremely well-developed. Planets OOB tend to produce visionary, free-thinking, and deeply original people in all areas of life, but especially in the arenas dealing with the planet and its energy. These people tend to operate outside of the confines of regular society, thinking and living outside of the box. The person will probably be regarded as “weird” in some way (which many OOB people don’t mind, and kind of enjoy). Depending on the planet involved and aspects made to the planet in the chart of the native, the OOB planet can be a positive or negative attribute. The further OOB the planet is, the more that OOB energy will be expressed, noticeable, and felt by the native (and other people). Because the Moon goes OOB the most frequently with the highest declinations, it’s OOB effects tend to be seen and felt the most.

I know there are astrologers/students of astrology that don’t pay much attention to Out of Bounds planets. This could be due to lack of information on the subject, not realizing OOB planets are a “thing”, or just a personal preference of not believing them to mean much in the overall makeup of the chart. I disagree with the last part very much. Being born in late 1987 myself, I went to school/grew up with people born during the height of an OOB Moon season. Now, I realize that adolescence is a strange time and teenagers can be kind of strange in general while on their quest to find and figure themselves out. But the group of kids my age, in my “class” seemed to be a hodge-podge of extreme emotional weirdos; from people that were just crazy intuitive from a very young age, to those that were more eccentric than your everyday teenager, to those who just really & truly had no fucks to give about anything, my class had them all (and at a higher rate it seemed than the class above and the class below mine). Because of my own experience, and watching people my own age operate a little different than other people, I just can’t believe that there isn’t something to Out of Bounds Planets in one’s natal chart.

In the next section, we’ll look at what it means to have an Out of Bounds Moon. Stay tuned! 🙂


Cancer & Capricorn North Node/South Node Axis

**In this post in the series, we will take the House that the North Node falls in out of the equation and just focus on what it means to have your North Node in a specific sign (and what it means to have the South Node in the polarity sign). Usually with things having to do with the Nodal Axis (and growing into our North Node), a catalyst occurs in our lives that edges us out of the comfort of the South Node and into the uncharted territory of the North. This catalyst could be something major and life changing (such as a death, marriage, or divorce), or even something much more minor. Something will kind of shake us internally, saying “Wake up, fucker. You’re supposed to move beyond this,” whatever the “this” in the situation is. Once this waking up occurs, you will begin to move towards the North Node. Though, in all my years of study, this period of waking up usually doesn’t occur until the person’s first Saturn Return, or after it.**

North Node in Cancer/South Node in Capricorn: If your North Node falls in Cancer, this makes you North Node mission all about being of support to others and accepting that same support in return, learning how to be vulnerable, emotional and sensitive (and coming to terms with this side of yourself), and home/domestic life & family. With your South Node falling Capricorn, in a previous life/lives, you were probably in control of your emotions and vulnerability at all times; you didn’t freely express this side of yourself, even at times when you probably should have. There was also probably quite an emphasis on your career and ambitions (Oh! You were probably very ambitious!), as well as on your well crafted public persona. You probably really got off on being at the very top of the social echelon. There is also an element of authority here with Capricorn, and in previous lives you very well could’ve held some kind of authority by way of everything else mentioned (and probably got off on this, too). Even though some (or all) of these themes and areas of life may feel the most comfortable to you in this lifetime, you are supposed to move into your Cancer North Node. In this lifetime, you are supposed to dive headfirst into the more private spheres of life, to really understand yourself and your emotions and sensitivies, and allow them to freely show. This is all about possibly putting career ambitions behind those needs of caring for your family (either the one you are born into or the one you create for yourself). This can either mean just caring and nurturing your family in day to day life, but can also mean taking care of and nurturing sick or ailing family members. In previous lives you also took care of yourself, for yourself. In this lifetime, you’re supposed to move into not only being a supportive force for those you truly love and care about, but to also allow them to support you as well. I could imagine the catalyst towards moving into your Cancer North Node being something along the lines of either having your own child or having to care for a loved one for a period of time. Before this would happen, you would probably be more focused on those career ambitions and the more public areas of life. Once life kind of takes you a different way (possibly even by force or an unexpected situation), you would then begin to grow into the Cancer North Node.

North Node in Capricorn/South Node in Cancer: If your North Node ends up falling in Capricorn, this is the lifetime where you are supposed to be *very* ambitious in regards to your career aspirations. This is a lifetime that is meant to be lived in the public spheres of life, climbing that social ladder for the highest amount of social status obtainable, working your public presence to your advantage, as well as really harnessing your own personal authority that is wanting to come out (and being comfortable with it). You probably really wanted to get a firm grip on your emotions in this lifetime, and become more even-keeled in this respect (not letting them dominate and rule you). There is probably also a real soul desire to completely be able to take care of yourself (being completely self-sufficient), and not actually needing anyone else in that arena to do that for you. With Cancer as your South Node, in past life (or lives) you may have spent a great deal of time being the support and nurturing force for other people (especially in the domain of the home). You may not have cared very much for career and the ambitions that come with it, for climbing the social ladder, for if you had a “public persona” or not. Your life was very focused on the more private side of life. There may have also been issues with your own emotions, sensitivity, and vulnerability, and they may have manifested in a way that you couldn’t easily reel them in (or they were mis-used possibly somehow). And authority…..there probably wasn’t a whole lot of that which you actively crafted and used. There could have also been issues with you not being self-sufficient in previous lives, either by choice (such as your spouse worked so you didn’t), or because there was some actual physical/mental issue that kept you unable to fully fly on your own, meaning you needed constant support from other people. You may be naturally more drawn towards the South Node (things are usually more comfortable there), and may feel like the North Node soul mission doesn’t speak to you at all. A catalyst usually must occur first before it does “speak” to you, and I could see a catalyst here as being someone who has spent a great deal of their time in this current incarnation caring for other people (such as being a stay at home mom/dad). Something happens that forces you into getting a job/getting into a career, and this awakens the Capricorn North Node and would allow you to grow into it.

Skipped Steps in the Natal Chart

Questions about past lives and karma are always popular questions that I get regularly. Specifically, I tend to get asked about past life issues and karma that are needed to be dealt with in this lifetime, and how these issues might manifest in the current incarnation. There are different places to look in your Natal Chart to to find unresolved karmic and past life elements, and one of the first place I look (after looking at the North & South Nodes and Pluto and its Polarity Point) is at any planets that may be making a square aspect with the North & South Nodes. If you have any planetary/celestial bodies squaring the Nodes, this formation is known as a “Skipped Step.” A Skipped Step is a planet (or planets) that deal with unresolved, specific issues that you have carried over from previous lives into this lifetime. This may have been an issue (or issues) that you chose to willfully ignore in a past life, or something that you didn’t recognize as an issue, or even something you just didn’t have the time in other incarnations to completely work out. You can have multiple planets square the Nodes (such as in the case of a Stellium square the Nodes, or even just planets in conjunction), and you can also have planets in opposition to one another that both square the Nodes (in the case of the Grand Cross). Just to illustrate what Skipped Steps look like in a natal chart, here is an example:

Skipped Steps from my own Natal Chart (circled in purple). The North Node in the 4th @ 0 Aries 17 is Square 1st House Venus @ 25 Sagittarius 40, Uranus @ 25 Sagittarius 26 (and by proxy, Saturn @ 21 Sagittarius 05), is square the South Node in the 10th House @ 0 Libra 17, is square Chiron @ 27 Gemini 25, is square the North Node.

Now, you may be looking at a chart that looks like my own, or you may be looking at one that doesn’t have the Grand Cross formation, but instead just one planet square the Nodes. Any way you slice it, any sort of square to the Nodes is a Skipped Step (or Steps). I would keep the orbs tighter here with planets and other major celestial bodies square the Nodes (about 6 degrees maximum). Any planet that doesn’t actually square the Node but conjuncts a planet that squares the Node will color the Skipped Step with that planets energy, thus ending up being square it to by proxy. An example of this is Saturn in my own chart above. It would technically be out of orb for me to consider it a Skipped Step on it’s own, but since it is in conjunction with Uranus and Venus, by proxy it becomes part of the Skipped Step theme. Depending on the planets and celestial bodies involved in the Skipped Step, you will be able to get an idea of what exactly was missed or not understood or integrated in your past life, and what you are really supposed to learn and understand in this life. The more planets involved in the this formation, the more likely that these issues have been going on for many lifetimes, have been avoided in some way, and have been compounding and gaining interest. Because these are in a square formation, there is naturally tension that the native is probably unable to avoid or ignore in this lifetime. Squares are almost always things we are forced to deal with, but in the case of squares to the Nodes, you have to deal with them before you can even begin to evolve into your North Node’s soul mission. One way to help yourself along this journey is to look at the “Resolution Node,” which is essentially the Node (either the North or the South Node) that was last in conjunction with the planet (or planets) in the square formation. To do this, you turn the North Node/South Node Axis counter-clockwise to see what planet(s) in the square formation were last in conjunction with what Node. By doing this, you can get a better idea as to how you can resolve these Skipped Step(s) issues. To take an example from my own chart, I need to work through my Uranus, Venus and Saturn shit and I have to go back to the South Node to work through these issues (since the South Node was the last Node in conjunction with these planets). Since Chiron was last in conjunction with my North Node, I would be working through this Skipped Step with this Node. Actually, in the case of a Grand Cross, usually you are working through both steps somehow simultaneously (and are cosmically forced too), just through the different Nodal energies. There is a lot of tension in the Skipped Steps formation, but there is an extreme amount of tension in the Grand Cross Skipped Steps placement.

You can also apply this same concept to Synastry Charts. If you have a Skipped Step (or Skipped Steps) in your own Natal Chart, look to see if your Synastry Partner has a planet/celestial body that conjuncts (specifically the conjunction aspect here) your skipped step(s). If this happens to be the case, this person is generally tied into your Skipped Step issue from a past life. The energy and way they are tied in depends on the planet of theirs that is in conjunction with your Skipped Step (and the area of life they are tied to from past lives depends on the house that holds the conjunction). There will probably be very strong feelings between the two of you, but those feelings may not always “feel” good. There will be a major attraction between the both of you, but there may also be a constant painful lens (unconsciously) on the areas that the Skipped Step person has yet to master. As unexplainably weird as this relationship may feel, the other person who’s planet conjunct the Skipped Step planet in your chart will help you evolve beyond your Skipped Steps and to begin to evolve into your North Node (if you allow them).

More on all of this later 🙂 If you have any questions or comments, let’s talk!